Fairly Freaking Excuses

First of all here, I wanna kick my freaking ass for all the stupid things I did. I've been super lazy, I don't feel like going to school all the times. First of all, I promised one of friend and she's Mama-T, I promised her that starting two weeks ago, I'll stop skipping school, but you know what happen, I broke that promise.

Technically in my heart, I promised God that I will stop. Well in the Bible says we can't swear to God on the things we can't do and that will a sin and Jesus said do not swear, but let your yes be yes and let your no be no.

For a gazillion times, I wanna say YES!! I want to say yes to the things I wanna do! I hate the things I'm doing. I wanna do what is good, what is good to my influence and what is good to the soul. My soul is like crazing for intimacy of God. My soul is crying out more of him. My life is like chaos, I can't lead my own life, I want to share this to someone that can listen but there's none. God is there for me, I always ran back to him, but I'm just like a little kid, getting hyperactive with things around me, playing like a kid like no one else's business, if I'm playing with fire, I don't even know.

I kinda imagine God always saves me from the fire I'm playing, He will be mad at me, because I can't be obedient enough. The vision of a friend on one praying gathering said she saw a child in her vision kept on running around but when it's time to put on the armor, this child is reluctant to put on the armor and still running around and have fun.

It's funny that actually that vision is for me, is telling about me. Telling about my behavior that wouldn't care to wake up and that time I thought that vision is for the people.

FOR DARN SAKE, I am going to wake up, to stop myself from enjoying all these pleasures of the flesh. I wanna grow up in spirit, no more in physical because physical growth made me more DUMB DUMB.

Well got to go, Starting from now. Let's see how much I'll change. :)

Signing off,

Dave