Being Chosen.

Just recently, about two days ago, the SPM results was out and I was the interviewer by doing some interviews with those people with good and amazing results. Well just to confess, I didn't did my job, I was sitting in front of the stage hall watching and looking at people and leave the interview job to my friends. I was pretty dismal and depressed that day, the reason was I was scare and worried when I saw those results of my SPM friends. Wow, I said not all of them got the results they hope for, even though they did all their best in this exam last year.

Well, literally I was sitting in front of the stage being EMO. Of course, I was thinking about my coming SPM exams. I was hoping the best for it, I pray and dreamed of getting good results. I dreamed that I can do it, I can try to get the most amazing results that I ever did. I dreamed of getting 11A's.

But in front of everybody eyes, I'm just a lazy bump who can't start move his butt and start studying. He can't even do his home works well.

While I'm still thinking and EMO-ing, some how one of my teacher saw me and called me. So I rushed to her side and asked what's the matter. Amazingly this is something I never heard before, not until that day. You know what my teacher said? She said this and it touches my heart:" David, you must try your best in the coming SPM, you are a Leader, everyone is expecting good things from you. But do not study of your own, instead study with the mighty strength of Christ."

Wow I said. A leader? When did I become a leader in front of people's eye? Who made me leader? What good things have I done? I'm not a perfect student, but in the eyes of people, I'm a leader? Is this a joke I asked?

But I heard a voice in my mind saying:" David, why keep on looking down on yourself? Can't you see how many great things you did for the Lord. Of course, you can't be a perfect person but you desire righteousness and a change in your life, even though you can't do it all the time but you still pursuing it."

But I fought the voice back:" But I did a lot of wrong things, I did things that is ugly in the Lord eyes. I'm just such a disobedient child. I can't do things the right way even though I'm aware of it."

But then voice spoke back in a different and the softest way: " But David, God does not look on

the good things you did. He loves you, the way you are, the loving person you desire to be. Remember what you have learned you are a Child Of God and that's the reason He loves you. You may sin, you may be wrong but God still loves you. But you must pursue His Kingdom and His Righteousness.

After that, I've been thinking, Hold on a second. It is true, I can see ways and paths that God is preparing me. Dreams and the person I want to be is open. I can even see how much God did for me, even though I did a lot of wrong things.

Lord, I thank you for your love. I thank you for many things, I even thank you for the way that you are preparing me. And so I say please please make me to be discipline in this year, I want to do all my best for you, I want to expect the unexpected, I want to do things that is impossible for me but is possible you. Just like Peter and the believers, I pray for boldness, strength and courage to speak of your message. I mean it Lord. In your guidance I pray I never want to be what my flesh desires but what you want me to be. Renew my mind and always be closed to you. In your loving name, Jesus, Amen.

Signing off,

Dave

How Could I Forget

I hate to say this but it's truth, some how I've forgotten how sweet it was my relationship with my Lord. It seems like I took everything for granted, I often do things in my way without really trusting in the Lord. Last Thursday before the holiday of the birthday of Prophet Muhammad, my teacher introduced what is baptism to our class, because we were learning the book called The Pearl in Literature. My fellow classmates doesn't understand what is Baptism so my teacher brought her laptop and showed us.

Wow, even though I'm a Christian, I've forgotten how sweet is baptism. Seeing countless of people receiving and confessing their faith to the Lord was rather a great encourage to my heart. When my teacher showed us a video with the song Amazing Grace(My Chains are Gone). Dang, even though people can't see that I'm crying, but my soul was crying to the Lord, I've said: "Lord, I have forgotten how sweet is Baptism."

These days I intend to relax in the most hectic time of life, I just can't settle down, pick up my home work and my book to study. I am so undisciplined, no matter how hard I strive to do it, I just can't quietly focus on my study.

The sweetest thing is, I still love God with all my heart, but I am just pretty disobedient, like a child running around that doesn't know what is responsibility. Doesn't know when to put the armor of God. I intend to do something that is forbidden and my family have to bear the consequences together.

I wish I can be more mature in my responsibility to do what is right.

I really admire some person's life, where they are so close with the Lord. Especially my dad and

some of my young adult friends from specific churches. I just love to hear their stories where they put on their faith completely to the Lord and how they face their daily problems that is similar to mine.

Well I really want to do something different now. Ain't gonna be loser for I know what's my identity in Christ and I ain't gonna take that as granted anymore.

Signing off,

Davey