It's been Awhile.

Look at the date for the last updated post for this blog, you can see that I haven't been here for a long time. Well, you can say I have been very lazy, but there's nothing wrong to be lazy in keeping a blog updated, isn't it?

I've read through the previous post that I've posted on Aug 22nd last year, those reminiscence just came back to me,for example, the image of the train station, the college, the colour of the sky, the people, and the girl's expression. I'm glad to say, that I've never gone far in having a crush on that girl. Just say, I was being very juvenile by the emotions I expressed by that day. I could remember I told my elder sister, Swee Hoon about the whole incident last year.

Anyway, quit the silly chit chat about the past, and focus about the present day.
Well, time really do fly if you asked me, I'm currently a college student now, not of the old silly high school boy any longer, that means there's more responsibility, more challenges, more obstacles to go through.

As in the previous update, I've mentioned about Methodist College Kuala Lumpur, where I had my Bible Knowledge class there. Currently, it is my college now, and I am a student there, studying A-Level courses.

I'm not going to bore you with the subjects I've struggled to, but I'm going to tell you how this college changed my life and my perspective about people.

I have this bunch of friends, mostly are acquaintances actually, but I couldn't imagine how different these people are. Most of them are very smart, super good students, some of them are from rich family even though they denied they are. Most of them are kind people, if you're always a depressing and a down person, I think these people will never fail to put your "frown upside down".

"Kind", it seems a really nice word indeed, but I am very terrified with that. The reason is, these people are really not ordinary people, their kindness are way unpredictable, I couldn't even describe what is the level of their superb kindness. I just can't describe it, try it if you were.

I just fell with amazement, these people are so touched by God, probably that's the reason why they are so different and kind. I just went out with a couple of girls to buy a gift for someone in our class, I could tell that journey wasn't that simple by JUST buying a gift, it was much more than that.

Call me obnoxious, but for that matter I am, and not to the girls, but towards myself and only me alone. Those two girls went all the way so far and tiring, to buy a gift with so much truth in it, so that the person
they give will receive an everlasting gift. To be honest, in my entire life, I've never saw such an extent of kindness, it makes me doubt my so called "words of kindness". Maybe I never taught to be that kind, I never see kindness in my own experience, I only heard of it, seen it in TV, but I never experience that in deep feeling for kindness. Maybe I have never such kind person appear in my life before, not until these people.

For a reason there, I vowed to myself, I'm going to learn how to be kind, I'll let God to open my eyes, but not to force myself to be kind, it'll grieved my soul if I do that, I want to experience that by the willing of the heart, soul and spirit.

Cheerio,

Dave

Life's Good huh?

I know I know, I haven't been updating my blog for about 3 months or more. Kinda felt I've abandon this blog of mine! You can hardly imagine that this blog got no visitors for about 24 days and I guess wasn't here for about 2 months too.

Let's cut to the case, I realized after these 3 months and I read my last post which was 10th of May. My life is been superbly good! I know that is it impossible that my life does not have any bad things, but those bad things really have changed me. It changed the way I always think of people, it changed my attitude and of course I've learned about cross-cultural evangelization.

Alright, I know it's bored to hear about what I've learn. How about my love life then? Haha, well I can tell it's pretty weird for me. Because I don't know and still waiting for God to tell me is that Sweet Lady is gonna my precious soul mate. :)

The story is like this:

It was a friday evening, I think it was somewhere in the month of July. It was after BibleKnowledge class in Methodist College Kuala Lumpur. My friends and I were wasting our time hanging out in the college compound and we took quite a long time to walk to the monorail station.

So when we got in the station, I saw one of my friend from FGA Cheras and she is the Sweet Lady I mentioned before(well this is before I like her). I saw she was quite down and bored, probably because her friend was absent that day due to a fever. So I went and cheer her up, just to keep her company.

While we were talking, the train arrived and all of us boys got into the train, but poor her, she was left outside of the train and of course the train doors closed without her and started off. I felt kinda pity for her, so I asked the boys why don't we wait for her at the station ahead. I don't know about the boys, but their answers was pretty disappointing that I expected to be. They did stayed waiting for her with me, but halfway there, they left me alone waiting for her.

So when she arrived at the station(Monorail Station) I was waiting for her, of course I teased her a little bit and we went on to another train station(STAR LRT). While halfway there, we were caught up by some charity scams asking us to give a signature for helping some unfortunate group of children. Well she was caught first, so I was standing dumbly looking at her and the scammer and then about 10 seconds later another scammer comes up to me.

I was also dumbly listening to the scammer and when I grabbed their pen to sign for their scam, she suddenly pulled me away from them, well she pinched my left shirt actually. From there, I started to like her by how she pulled me away from those scammers. :P

Well I felt special about her because it's strange. It's like an odd coincidence planned by God that day. My friend Jonathan and I was actually used to go for another Train Station(PUTRA LRT), instead of Monorail. But lucky we didn't go there because PUTRA LRT was down that day, because my mom told me when she came home late from work by using that train.

Another odd coincidence is, She didn't missed the train once when we got there, it was the second time. She missed the train before when us boys got in the station.

To my feelings, maybe is just only coincidence but I don't know about God's decision for her. Because I totally commit her to the Lord. I hope she is the one but I'll just wait because what I've heard from my friends, she's already in a relationship with some guy. I do get jealous at first, but who cares? I don't really need to be desperate in this but committed to the Lord's timing! :)

Aite I gotta go, I haven't take my bath and I have to study at least a subject today!

Nite Y'all.

David

Fairly Freaking Excuses

First of all here, I wanna kick my freaking ass for all the stupid things I did. I've been super lazy, I don't feel like going to school all the times. First of all, I promised one of friend and she's Mama-T, I promised her that starting two weeks ago, I'll stop skipping school, but you know what happen, I broke that promise.

Technically in my heart, I promised God that I will stop. Well in the Bible says we can't swear to God on the things we can't do and that will a sin and Jesus said do not swear, but let your yes be yes and let your no be no.

For a gazillion times, I wanna say YES!! I want to say yes to the things I wanna do! I hate the things I'm doing. I wanna do what is good, what is good to my influence and what is good to the soul. My soul is like crazing for intimacy of God. My soul is crying out more of him. My life is like chaos, I can't lead my own life, I want to share this to someone that can listen but there's none. God is there for me, I always ran back to him, but I'm just like a little kid, getting hyperactive with things around me, playing like a kid like no one else's business, if I'm playing with fire, I don't even know.

I kinda imagine God always saves me from the fire I'm playing, He will be mad at me, because I can't be obedient enough. The vision of a friend on one praying gathering said she saw a child in her vision kept on running around but when it's time to put on the armor, this child is reluctant to put on the armor and still running around and have fun.

It's funny that actually that vision is for me, is telling about me. Telling about my behavior that wouldn't care to wake up and that time I thought that vision is for the people.

FOR DARN SAKE, I am going to wake up, to stop myself from enjoying all these pleasures of the flesh. I wanna grow up in spirit, no more in physical because physical growth made me more DUMB DUMB.

Well got to go, Starting from now. Let's see how much I'll change. :)

Signing off,

Dave

Deep Desires

Awesome, I guess I finally achieve the longest record of not updating my blog. Hmm I guess it been a month long or more. I guess I have to give some excuses for not updating? I guess NOT!! Haha Nah, I'll say my excuses anyway.

1st, well I was pretty lazy. I actually wanted to blog during this past month, but I can't think of anything, and I got lazy all the sudden so I went to play some games. :P

2nd, I was pretty tight in my schedule. Having a lot of home works, been to a lot of extra classes and recently was busy practicing for EB2.

Alright, who cares about my excuses, what I really wanted to write in this post is my deepest desires in my life.

After seeing how the world goes by, I felt life is getting pretty complicating and evil, and utterly boring. Wherever you go, wherever you are, everywhere is just the same. We often complain the place we now living sucks or doesn't meet our needs. Other places are also the same.

The most horrifying truth I get to know, was that the place of my dreams was full of sinful lust and practices. I cannot imagine even in our everyday music was some kind of weapon to destroy humanity, destroying hopes and losing the sense of reality.

To face the truth, mankind is forgetting who is God, and the day is getting nearer. To confess, I am also reluctant for that day to come because I still want to enjoy the adventure of this world, I feel life is fun because everyday is a blessing from the Lord. I can't wait to see my future that God had planned ahead, I found life is AMAZING with what the Lord gave me.

So my deepest desires are of course to change a heart, so that the world can at least change, especially to change my own heart 1st. My deepest desires also includes getting closer to the Lord. I desire to do good. I desire to see a change in my life.

My desires are also to leave a legacy in this world and also I desire to have the Most Gorgeous Wife and the most precious person in life. I desire to have the long lasting and eternal relationship with her. :) (Well the gorgeous means the most beautiful pair of eyes. 0.0) :P

My last desire is to score my SPM this year, because I want to prove myself that I can be discipline. I can schedule and take control of my life and time. Probably from this time onwards, I am starting to change and be organized.

Well I guess this is all I can write on, cause I got to go, I can't just leave my brother to cook on himself. See y'all people. Take Care :)

Signing Off, Davey. :)

Being Chosen.

Just recently, about two days ago, the SPM results was out and I was the interviewer by doing some interviews with those people with good and amazing results. Well just to confess, I didn't did my job, I was sitting in front of the stage hall watching and looking at people and leave the interview job to my friends. I was pretty dismal and depressed that day, the reason was I was scare and worried when I saw those results of my SPM friends. Wow, I said not all of them got the results they hope for, even though they did all their best in this exam last year.

Well, literally I was sitting in front of the stage being EMO. Of course, I was thinking about my coming SPM exams. I was hoping the best for it, I pray and dreamed of getting good results. I dreamed that I can do it, I can try to get the most amazing results that I ever did. I dreamed of getting 11A's.

But in front of everybody eyes, I'm just a lazy bump who can't start move his butt and start studying. He can't even do his home works well.

While I'm still thinking and EMO-ing, some how one of my teacher saw me and called me. So I rushed to her side and asked what's the matter. Amazingly this is something I never heard before, not until that day. You know what my teacher said? She said this and it touches my heart:" David, you must try your best in the coming SPM, you are a Leader, everyone is expecting good things from you. But do not study of your own, instead study with the mighty strength of Christ."

Wow I said. A leader? When did I become a leader in front of people's eye? Who made me leader? What good things have I done? I'm not a perfect student, but in the eyes of people, I'm a leader? Is this a joke I asked?

But I heard a voice in my mind saying:" David, why keep on looking down on yourself? Can't you see how many great things you did for the Lord. Of course, you can't be a perfect person but you desire righteousness and a change in your life, even though you can't do it all the time but you still pursuing it."

But I fought the voice back:" But I did a lot of wrong things, I did things that is ugly in the Lord eyes. I'm just such a disobedient child. I can't do things the right way even though I'm aware of it."

But then voice spoke back in a different and the softest way: " But David, God does not look on

the good things you did. He loves you, the way you are, the loving person you desire to be. Remember what you have learned you are a Child Of God and that's the reason He loves you. You may sin, you may be wrong but God still loves you. But you must pursue His Kingdom and His Righteousness.

After that, I've been thinking, Hold on a second. It is true, I can see ways and paths that God is preparing me. Dreams and the person I want to be is open. I can even see how much God did for me, even though I did a lot of wrong things.

Lord, I thank you for your love. I thank you for many things, I even thank you for the way that you are preparing me. And so I say please please make me to be discipline in this year, I want to do all my best for you, I want to expect the unexpected, I want to do things that is impossible for me but is possible you. Just like Peter and the believers, I pray for boldness, strength and courage to speak of your message. I mean it Lord. In your guidance I pray I never want to be what my flesh desires but what you want me to be. Renew my mind and always be closed to you. In your loving name, Jesus, Amen.

Signing off,

Dave

How Could I Forget

I hate to say this but it's truth, some how I've forgotten how sweet it was my relationship with my Lord. It seems like I took everything for granted, I often do things in my way without really trusting in the Lord. Last Thursday before the holiday of the birthday of Prophet Muhammad, my teacher introduced what is baptism to our class, because we were learning the book called The Pearl in Literature. My fellow classmates doesn't understand what is Baptism so my teacher brought her laptop and showed us.

Wow, even though I'm a Christian, I've forgotten how sweet is baptism. Seeing countless of people receiving and confessing their faith to the Lord was rather a great encourage to my heart. When my teacher showed us a video with the song Amazing Grace(My Chains are Gone). Dang, even though people can't see that I'm crying, but my soul was crying to the Lord, I've said: "Lord, I have forgotten how sweet is Baptism."

These days I intend to relax in the most hectic time of life, I just can't settle down, pick up my home work and my book to study. I am so undisciplined, no matter how hard I strive to do it, I just can't quietly focus on my study.

The sweetest thing is, I still love God with all my heart, but I am just pretty disobedient, like a child running around that doesn't know what is responsibility. Doesn't know when to put the armor of God. I intend to do something that is forbidden and my family have to bear the consequences together.

I wish I can be more mature in my responsibility to do what is right.

I really admire some person's life, where they are so close with the Lord. Especially my dad and

some of my young adult friends from specific churches. I just love to hear their stories where they put on their faith completely to the Lord and how they face their daily problems that is similar to mine.

Well I really want to do something different now. Ain't gonna be loser for I know what's my identity in Christ and I ain't gonna take that as granted anymore.

Signing off,

Davey

月亮代表我的心/The Moon Represents My Heart

Feel kinda weird why I put that old song of Teresa Teng for my title? I'm not gonna share about her but I'm sharing another person who sang her song and that person is Hayley Westenra, a New Zealander.

She as a white New Zealander can sing a chinese song so well. You can hear it yourself on my video playlist in my blog, just look for The Moon Represents My Heart and just enjoy the song. Why I wanna talk about her? I want to talk about her because through her singing a chinese song just reminded how suck is my mandarin. Man, I've neglected my Chinese and now I'm regretting for not grasping it in the first place.

I spent my whole life improving my english, from basics and now to speaking. I even have the American Speaking Accents. For my country mates, they will say I speak like a Masaleh. My speaking is like completely different from anybody, I'm like from other country like I came from America and started to live here in Malaysia. But the truth is I'm not, I am born Malaysian and I never been to America but how the heck did I learn to speak like an American.

Today, I got a comment from one of my CG(care group) elders, she told me that my accents are hard to understand and she's not used to this kind of accent and she encourages not to speak like that. She told me one of her experience and it was the time that she went for a camp and the Speakers for the camp was Americans and she told me she doesn't understand a single word from them because of their slurry accents.

From now on, I finally understand why people thinks I'm weird and laugh of my accents. Because most of them are not used to the way I'm speaking. The point is, I love to be different, to be different from anyone, even the way I speak have accents and is different from country mates. Against all odds, for my dreams, I love to go America. But what's the use?

I'm not saying I hate my own country, but I am person who love to explore and to have in fun by learning things. But I realized this one thing, who cares that I have the coolest accents, who cares my english is the coolest, because one day I'm not gonna used english anymore and that will be the day when I go to heaven. We won't be using any earth languages but a language of heaven where everyone of any nations speak of that language.

Well suffice to say, I'll just have fun in languages, especially to improve my mandarin. Well I don't care, I just want improve myself everyday, and to change what the Lord wants me to be. I really want to commit my life, to say this, I think God blessed me with the gift of learning accents, trust me I can even speak mandarin like I'm originally from China too. Well I believe, that these accents, one day God will surely use on that area.

Signing off,

DaveyDavio

Decisions Again

Okay, there's two decisions for me to choose before June Holidays cometh. Those decisions are for me to go for 2 camps. One is the official Baptist Camp, Mission GAME and the other is a camp for the Whole Malaysia's Churches invited by my friend from LYPG. I don't really know the camp's name, so I'll explain the camp's details below.

Alright, first for Baptist's Mission GAME. Seriously, I really want to go for this camp, and honestly to say, I'm going there because of a girl. An amazing girl with a pair of gorgeous eyes, and a friend I've met two years ago, but never really get in touch to until last year's Heroes Camp. Secondly, I am passionate to know more about mission because I want to Missionary for God.

For the second camp, from what I've heard, I remember my friend told me that this camp is for specially for youths to discover what they want to do for God in their future careers. I want to go there, some how deep in me I still don't know what I really want to do for my career in the near future. More overly, 60% of my conscience tells me I want to be a missionary doctor, but 40% of my conscience tells me I want to do something even more extraordinary like a Scientist or something even less hard and complicating careers.

Now time to choose and think about what's gonna happen. If I do not choose to go for Mission Game, probably I will not be able to see My Crush. Because this is the last time, I'm gonna see her and maybe after this year she's going back to America for college and I won't be seeing her again. Problem is, I really like to see her, she is so sweet and kind, and this never fails, I can't stop looking at her beautiful pair of eyes. I want to get closer probably just only BEST friend which I can easily talk to her. Because I don't really have much of a girl which is a friend to talk to.

For the second camp, I don't really feel there's any thing that I'll lose. But in my heart, whenever there's a camp, I feel God is telling me to go. I really don't know and I don't want decide on my own this time. Experience tells me, I'll suffer a lot, if I choose on my own.

Mainly, I also don't want to choose to go for a camp just because of a girl. I don't know

suddenly, I like a girl that's different from any person here in Malaysia. I don't know I just wanna say, I'll let God to choose, if He lets me to go to meet this girl, then probably He'll bring us close as a friend and probably there's something extraordinary that God is planning for me.

So I'll just wait for his answers! :)

Signing off,

Davey Davio[created by a swedish friend of mine, Tova!! (love her much! XP)]